RELATIVELY Speaking

• BANK SEIZES WRONG HOUSE Last October, Bank of America screwed up and seized a vacation home that didn’t belong to them. They also changed the locks and shut off the power, leaving 75 pounds of fish rotting for a week before it was discovered. Problem is it was the wrong house.
• FAT BUTTS ARE HEALTHY Having junk in your trunk is healthier than a spare tire around the gut, new research suggests. The extra padding on the backside and thighs could even help to protect against disease. Who Knew?
• GAY TEEN WORRIED HE MIGHT BE CHRISTIAN At first glance, high school senior Lucas Faber, 18, seems like any ordinary gay teen. But lately, a growing worry has begun to plague this young gay man – a gnawing feeling that, deep down, he may be a fundamentalist, right-wing Christian.
• OCCUPATION BREEDS TERRORISM As Muslims defensively chant “not all terrorists are Muslims” and “there are terrorists of every faith,” the question that the Islamophobes invariably ask is: “why is it that 99% of terrorists are Muslims?”
• THE DEVIL'S DOWN IN HAITI Christian Leader Pat Robertson, who suggested assassinating Venezuela leader Hugo Chavez, blamed the 9/11 terrorist attacks and Hurricane Katrina on pagans, abortionists, feminists, and gays blames the Haitian earthquake on Haiti’s “pact with the devil.”