From Special Guest Stephen Parise….

Yeah, life in Sweden… as a foreigner. I think life in Sweden is pretty good overall. Beautiful people, in designer clothes, living in nice flats; IKEA furniture; free edcuation: ABBA; most families have summer cabins and /or sailing boats; the Midsummer celebration madness; Schnapps; about seven to eight months of winter, where the sky can be dark for up to seventeen hours a day; the archipelago; Swedish meatballs; good health care – much on the par with Canada – social welfare state and all that – ‘The Swedish Model’. But there’s still something off. Every time I think I have them figured out a major curve ball is thrown my way; and I’m not one to use baseball terms.

I’m an American from New York and have been living in Sweden for nearly nine years. I speak Swedish very well, or so I’ve been told. The place has its ups and downs, as much as anywhere else I’d imagine. My impressions, althoughn not exhiastive, are as follows.

Growing up I never had much knowledge about Sweden; never thought a lot about it really. Paris, London, and Madrid were the far off holiday dream spots. Certainly not Stockholm and the rest of Scandinavia. And even though I watched Ingmar Bergman movies with my dad, not having A CLUE what was going on in the film, this was not a major driving force behind me moving there. Actually, it was when I saw the Cardigans perform live at The Knitting Factory in New York circa 1998. No, not really. I was in fact invited for a one-year residency back in 2002, during which time I met my very own Viking a.k.a boyfriend and so I wound up staying. In Sweden it’s possible for same-sex partners to stay legally in the country; very progressive.

But just because you’re allowed to stay doesn’t make you one of them. There’s talk of problems with assimilation into Swedish society, but I think its more up to the individual. I think of Namko Sabuni. She came to Sweden as an immigrant from Africa and became the Peoples’ Party Minister of Integration. She’s often been quoted saying that she ‘refuses to be a martyr’ and be pitied when talking about immigration & assimilation issues. Sure! If she could do it why can’t everybody else? The education and high-ranking official job doesn’t hurt.

Yes, Stockholm is indeed a hard city to make friends, however, what big city isn’t? I’ve never really met an unfriendly Swede. They can be direct as hell and even more so when you speak Swedish. Its a very direct language. I recall an incident of going to get film developed in some store I’d often go to; the same store I had gone and spoken English at many times before and there would be a certain pleasantness about the place…but now, as a Swedish-speaking customer I was treated rather poorly and with haste. The nerve!

In many ways, Swedes are very similar to Americans. They won’t admit it, but they are. They buy every TV program (from bad to worse) from the States; some of which were probably even cancelled after the first few shows only to be played out in its full run on Swedish television. I once met a French tourist who had said out loud what I’d only been thinking all along - Sweden is a Swedish-speaking America. At present, there is an overwhelming infiltration of one-liners, said in English no less, added into daily Swedish conversation: I don’t think so! My way or the highway! All or nothing! Take it or leave it! and so on.

Organization is big in Sweden and Scandinavia in general.Things have to be organized. Wasn’t it Björk who sang ‘I thought I could organize freedom, how Scandinavian of me ‘. In Sweden you ‘take a number’ and line up almost everywhere. Banks and hospitals, of course, but even in the state owned liquor shops, Systembolaget. There you take a number and wait to be called. During which time you survey their stock (neatly displayed behind glass) and finally when called give them the article number of the item and amount of the booze you wish to buy. In department stores, during the holidays when you wish to have your presents wrapped you take a number. And although it might seem odd, it works.

While on the topic of holidays, I’ve spent many a Christmas with my Viking’s family. Christmas was never really a big deal growing up in my house. In Sweden, since the family unit is so strong in some cases, the holiday season is very important. At around one in the afternoon, Swedish families gather around the TV to watch the annual broadcast of Mickey Mouse and his friends’ Christmas special. From what I gather, its been on for years. And still, without fail, the laughs are shared by one and all at the same silly things that happen: Chip and Dale (Piff and Puff in Swedish) in the Christmas Tree tormenting poor Pluto, Mickey’s camping adventure with Goofy and Donald Duck, The romantic pasta scene from Lady and the Tramp. The one particular segment that strikes only me as odd  takes place in Santa’s workshop, where a newly made doll with an obvious black-face, upon seeing Santa for the first time yells ‘Mammy!’ If this isn’t a throw back to the days of Jem and Scout Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird, I don’t know what is! I’ve tried explaining the severity of the word mammy and go on to say this would never be shown in the States, but I never seem to be able to convey its heavy history.

Although very open about sex, public displays of affection, skinny dipping and taking a sauna together, Swedes still have quite an odd take on sex. The daily newspaper, Metro, reported that Sweden is the #1 country where folks hop into bed on the first date! And who can forget the movie Nyfiken Gul (I am Curious (Yellow)) , one of the first films to show a full on sex scene in a non-pornographic film. Yet after all this they seem to be quite puritanical about sex. Could it be the outside influence? When I say ‘outside influence’ I mean the mass immigration going on in Sweden. Breast-feeding seems a thing of the past. A taboo. Something to be ashamed of. To feed one’s child.

The Utopia of yesterday is becoming a thing of the past. Sweden wants to make a good impression with everything it does. Is it possible to always make a good impression? It’s a country that doesn’t want to take the first step with anything. There was even a TV program with the theme of: Sweden – the world’s most modern country with the most insecure people. And how is that possible in the Swedish Model setting?

Stephen Parise was born in New York in 1975. He left home for Paris at the age 18, but later returned to his hometown to get a BFA in painting. Soon after some time spent in Japan, he moved to Sweden in 2002 where he still resides today.