RELATIVELY Speaking

• NO MATTER WHAT, IT'S WORTH IT With its Tex-Mex menu, Taco Bell is one of the most popular fat-food chains in America. No matter what happens after you eat it..
• NO SHIT, CONDOLEEZA! In a video at the recently opened George W. Bush Library, Condoleeza Rice confirms Bush was both aware and condoned torture. Guess there’s no need to lie your asses off anymore, is there Dipshit?
• TEACHER BEATS STUDENT THEN MASTURBATES Ummm…OK. Well, this is a new one for us at Relativity. The Yangcheon Police announced a teacher was released after being charged with causing bodily harm and public exposure. We’re not sure if releasing the guy is the best f*&^ing idea!
• TURKISH AUTISTIC ATHIESTS “Autistic children do not know believing in God because they do not have a section of faith in their brains,” claims a renowned Turkish Sociologist. Gotta love nut-jobs, like this asshole! They’re so entertaining!